I Can’t Wait to be a Father…Someday.

Content Warning: This essay discusses Fatherhood, Parenting, and Infertility.

From as far back as I can remember, I’ve always wanted to be a dad. My relationship to parenthood, however, is different. My parents were wonderful people and two of my closest friends. I cherish every day I had with them and wish there could have been more.

Like everyone, each had their unique set of issues, and they weren’t particularly attentive or engaged. My upbringing involved being raised by a revolving door of teachers, friends’ parents, my parents’ friends, mentors, coaches, and of course, sometimes my mom and dad. Consequently, I’ve considered many people as parental figures throughout my life.

There are plenty of adults I lovingly call “Dad” including my biological father. From that, I’ve always known that I’d be comfortable with whatever path to fatherhood life brought me on.

When my wife and I began dating, she was in the middle of her third egg freezing cycle. She has always wanted to be a mother, with being a pregnant person one of her life-long dreams. At age 30 and single, she decided to advocate for herself to have a fertility checkup. Following her second New York Marathon, she was in prime physical condition, her doctors reassured her. She had nothing to worry about. However, the tone quickly changed as she began a soon-to-be canceled egg freezing. She did not have the expected response to the heavy does on medication. She was subsequently diagnosed with Diminished Ovarian…